What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
