So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
