The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize