I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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