please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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