Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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