butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
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