why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
