I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
