brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You made out with two different species that night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
