I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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