I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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