So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
