Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
