i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
