Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize