Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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