yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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