I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
