I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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