he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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