hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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