i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
