i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
