make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize