Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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