you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
