Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
