I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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