David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
