I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
