Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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