how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
