We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i out mim tonsoeep
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
