yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I am morally bankrupt
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
