i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize