Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
