Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
