Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
