I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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