i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My ass is underappreciated
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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