Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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