Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
