i barfeds in our rink
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
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