i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
jump out the window naked night went bad
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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