In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize