Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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