I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm going to jail i love you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
