I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize