I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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