everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
