i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
