areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He better not be in your backpack
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
