i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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