I hate your face
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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