Im at strip club and am horny
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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