i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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