Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
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I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
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it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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