Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
its not stalking. its research.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
