first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
