Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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