Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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