Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
