FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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